Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Wednesday's Victories

Through the thin and tired wall against my back, a buzzing drone accompanies my sleep- crusted blinks. In five minutes I will rise out of my bed and walk across the room escorted by a rhythmic orchestra of detonating alarm clocks. Competing with one another, they echo through rooms and hallways. I am now coherent. My bare feet collect dust and other forgotten remnants strewn about the hardwood floor. Hurrying through my room to a nearby hallway, a familiar aroma greets my nose. It is laced with musty-house-smell, grass-clippings and rotting pizza. My drowsy grip finds the bathroom door locked.

I am running late.
My hair is a mess.
I have unfortunate breath.

In stealth, I run to steal someone else’s unoccupied bathroom. None of the other five showers are vacant.
Shabbily dressed and smelling of yesterday, I saunter into the kitchen. The search for a clean bowl takes some effort. I follow a trail of maverick flakes to the opened box of raisin bran. I discover that the milk has soured and for a fleeting moment I ponder the use of Dr. Pepper as a dairy substitute. In distant rooms an alarm clock chorus begins again. Overhead, a door slams; running footsteps soon follow. I am not the only one late this morning. Another hungry slumberer enters the kitchen and discovers the turned milk. We exchange stoic glances. I eat a spoonful of dry bran flakes and remember that I live in a fraternity house with thirty other people.
Later that afternoon, the distant campus bell-tower’s interjections remind me that another rigorous day of sitting in class has been completed. While scaling the up the 27 steps of the House, I notice more 1940’s stucco surfacing through peeled paint. A deliberate groan bellows from the carport. I wonder when its arthritic rafters will collapse. I shoot a sympathetic wince at my parked car, impatiently waiting beneath the crooning beams.

Will my car suffer its wrath when it goes?

Save for the faint droning television, the house is virtually silent. Short-lived afternoon quietude is sweet company. Donning my apron, I march towards the kitchen. In a messy three hours, I attempt to make dinner for forty people. A few flow in and out of the humid space offering help or a friendly "hello."

I like doing this.

At 5:30pm, a friend rings the dinner bell. After years of this tradition, I imagine our neighbors hate us. The antique cowbell clangs around house. Stampeding hungry footsteps find haven in the dining room. Motley countenances glance about. We gather close into a makeshift circle to bless our meal. Next to me are my pledge brothers. Across the room I see my friend, Phil. Last year, my pledge-brother accomplices and I helped liberate a baby opossum into his room while he was studying. It took him 45 minutes to find peace and rodent-free focus.

It was hilarious.
We were smug.

Within ten minutes, the dining room is ablaze with conversations, laughter and stories. My friend, Tom, sits across from me. He is an aspiring lawyer and not fluent in Dramatic Arts. Nonetheless, in a year he will attend the performance of my senior project in the Theater department. From the stage I will see his silhouette in the last row of the theater; it will be a symbol of his support and loyalty in our friendship.

For me, this house has defined community.

Gradually we find our way into the living room and gather to discuss what it means to follow Christ in the twenty-first century. Within the next six years, I will be perform a part in six of their weddings. A sincere prayer concludes the time of our vision-casting. Too soon we will move away and our daily rituals will be replaced. Dessert initiates a retreat to shared rooms, procrastination, jaunts into town, and study attempts.

I love Wednesday nights.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Prayers and Aid for India




This past autumn afforded me the ability to travel to India. While there, I volunteered at an orphanage in the Northwestern state of Rajasthan. Living with 2000 kids for 3 weeks has permanently branded images, emotions, and questions within my heart and mind.
This past Sunday afternoon I learned that the orphange compound had been under seige by a group of militant Hindus for over two weeks. The siege continues. Frozen bank accounts, revoked legal licenses, bounties placed upon the leaders of the organization (www.hopegivers.org), threats from the local government, and a diminishing food supply are a daily reality for the Christians in Kota, India. Two days ago, one of the founders of the ministry was captured and thrown into jail.
I find myself in a state of shock and horror that this is happening. I pray for my brothers and sisters, I have donated money, and ask myself: what else can I do? I write to get the word out for prayer and advocacy in whatever form. I return to the beatitudes and wonder what is God's blessing like when one suffers for His name's sake?

This scenario reminds me of the book of Acts. As persecution began, God's power magnificently was displayed through the boldness of the saints and miracles. And its these New Testament images that I pray to occur in India: that Dr. Samuel, who is in jail, would (like Peter) be delivered even by an angel and boldly proclaim the gospel to those around him. I pray that the children and leaders would be empowered by the Holy Spirit to act courageously and not be driven by fear. I pray that they would know that their family around the world is praying for them. I pray that the eyes of the world would be drawn to the political injustice and spiritual war that is being inacted in Kota, and that God would display Himself powerfully for the world to see so that many would know that Christ is Lord.

For more detailed information check out:http://www.hopegivers.org/

Friday, March 17, 2006

glimpses.



The poorly painted, pink toenails found themelves upon dry, cracked feet, caked with dirt, muddied from the day's activities: an everlasting cricket game that transformed the orphanage around him into a stadium; for a few moments of glory he heard his family cheer from among the unseen spectators and, with his pink feet running, he missed home for the first time that day.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

token thoughts: Tolkien-inspired

As I re-screened LOTR: the Two Towers, I wept. Yes, I am a crier, I'll admit to it. But this wasn't Hallmark-commercial sentimentality. This was Truth that resonated and danced with my soul; the tears flowed. What else can one do? Images from the movie have permanent residence in my mind: the beauty and sacrifice of a woman's love, the power of hope amidst opposition, the necessity of vision for personal identity and perseverance and the priceless value of community.
Venturing into the eighth month of my quarter life crisis, "Vision" has been an ongoing theme in my petitions to the Lord and in my perusal of art, music, literature, film, thoughts, questions and conversations. Perhaps my fascination with legend and saga of mythic proportions stem from my adoration of the "Quest." Who wouldn't want to spend their remaining years with a gorgeous damsel and bragging rights to a slain dragon. Rather, it is the essence of the quest that is captivating to me: the all-encompassing vision that guides one's life regardless of circumstances.
These past months are (and continue to be) filled with emotional bliss, emotional turmoil, excitement from the endless possibilites of what lay ahead, fearful paralysis from the possibilities of what lay ahead, hope for becoming and awakening unto the man that God has redeemed me to be, and yet doubt that the same hope will find its reality. In short, manic. These have been a manic eight months. However, after four years of bing too busy and distraced to think and feel, manic is a welcome sign of change and vitality. Tonight's soul-stirrings from the film are good signs of life to me. And they must be more than a bio-chemical reaction inside me and more than a cultural myth reinforced by generations. Truth must be at its core.
Watching vision transform and confrom a group of people is enchanting, inspiring and provokes one to envy. For truth, I am called by Christ to believe, to live joyfully in Him and to wait eagerly for His soon return. And what a magnificent calling! But for the immediate present--how is it that I utilize my freedom to obey His calling? Now that I have been forgiven, and made anew, how may I uniquely use my gifts, desires and weaknesses to fulfill His greater story? ...so I thirst for vision.
Going beyond this thirst, I seek the individuals who share the burden or adventure with me. I look for compansionship akin to Tolkien's motley fellowship. Throughout the film, not once was a person judged by the utility/efficiency. Rather, their inherent commitment to the cause was enough to justify their place in the Fellowship and equal worth among the members.
I see this Fellowship and draw a parallel to the Body of Christ. With praise on my lips, I am a part of a small community of Christians--and there are hints of a "Fellowship" parallel at work within us. But mostly, I observe that the church (at least in America) has lost this vision of communal living---or perhaps communal "questing". I desire for a dynamic community in which to participate, to co-embark upon adventure and to fulfill God's Greater Story of bringing renewal and redemption to the world. I believe that this is Christ's intention for His Bride. I see this when I read the Gospels and Acts. The news of redemption swept powerfully through known world, so much so that in Acts 17:1-9, unbelieving Thessalonians accused the gospel of upsetting the world. Redemption is so sweet, revolutionary and powerful that it upsets the core of who we are. This is the Good News of the Risen Christ I hold near to my heart and mind. I prayerfully hunger for a personal vision greater than what I see in my life and some companions to "upset" the world where Christ has placed us.


listening: Debussy and United:Live
tasting: local Costa Rican food; incredible Costa Rican cup o' joe...or here is it jose?
absorbing: the gospel of John, Technopoly by Neil Postman
experiencing: humility-being tossed by waves
seeing: oceanic grandeur of Jaco beach

Monday, June 20, 2005

Perhaps hot beverages are the muses of our day..

For years I have desired to write something: observations of my life, or the potential of what lies ahead. With determination, I resolved to journal entries oozing with wit, substance, and keen insight. I waited upon my muse to sing and inspire.
She stood me up. It's been seven months and I haven't even gotten a voice mail or an IM. Early on, I pondered the validity of my blogging desire. "Who am I to think that anyone would want to read my thoughts?" "Am I being narcissistic?" Why do I think that my life is something worth documenting?" Frankly, I still wonder why I can't be satisfied in keeping my thoughts to myself. But the resolve for weighty penned observations continue to linger. So I sit at a keyboard and search for wit and profundity.

I still sit. And alas, the fount appears to be dry. Instead of frustration, I'll take a professor's advice and "write what I know."

Last night, I sipped an intoxicating decaf chai at Elixir in Hollywood; my mind stirred. Perhaps it was the mix of cinnamon, soymilk, the flickering citronella torches, and ions emitted from the nearby fountain, but I found reason and inspiration to write.
A discipline of reflection is missing in my life. I want to be circumspect about my experiences, decisions, emotions, and relationships around me. I want to see the unity or disunity in my hours--and find understanding in them. Also, I need to write because i love language (though far from having a master command of the English language).Emotion finds a beautiful conduit in the marriage of perfect words placed perfectly. What delight!--the connection of two souls: writer and reader meeting on the single page (or screen). And lastly, justification for my entrance into Blog-world finds roots in the need for dialog. I want insight and commentary from others about my questions observations and actions. Plus, I love reading certain people's blogs about their lives and thoughts.

Post one is accomplished.

Concluding my posts, I'd like to mention a couple experiential highlights in my life. Share yours too, if you want.

listening: of late a fun mix of Mussorsky and John Mayer
tasting: Still relishing an incredible meal from Summer Joe's Restaurant back home in Oregon
seeing: a superb rendering of "The Passion" from Medieval Mystery Plays at the Sons of Semele Theater (www.sonsofsemele.org)
absorbing: Primer on Postmodernism by Grenz and David Copperfield

Thursday, September 30, 2004

satiated

cross-legged sitting and typing, i'm stuffed. perhaps satiated is a more respectful term considering the gourmet melange of foods i've ingested this evening. when people eat 4x4's at In-n-out, they are stuffed. After the third dodger dog, people belch and deny their desire for the fourth because they're stuffed. Turkeys are stuffed.
i'm satiated.

exquisite environs. excellent friends. expensive food.

exhusted state of satiation.

post-consumptive: bon appetite! pre-noctum: sweet dreams!

be well seasoned. slowly marinated. and exceedingly graced.



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